Why I do what I do...

When I first started out doing this whole photography thing, one piece of advice I kept seeing circulating on the small business owner forums was about 'having a purpose' - telling your followers, readers and clients why it is that you do what you do. 

I thought I always knew what mine was... ‘I love horses, I want to take nice photos for people’. But this wasn’t enough, and I didn’t really realise this until about a year ago and I want to share with you all how that revelation came to me. 

I’ve had my pony, Flicker for 13 years. I was 12 when he arrived, and he was just 2 years old (yes, I know! We didn’t go looking for a 2 year old lol. That’s another story entirely!). He’s 15 now, and I can’t imagine loving another horse the way I love him, or sharing a relationship with another horse in the same way as I do with Flicker. I know everyone has, or has had, that feeling about their own horse(s) at one point or another, and while I feel extremely lucky to feel this way, I actually find it almost bitter sweet. 

As I’m writing this in June, 2020, it’s almost a year ago to the day from when I found out that Flicker had/still has an uncommon form of cancer. I’ll spare you the grimey details, but in short I found some growths on him last year (on his private, boy parts), and I promptly had the vet come out to confirm my worst fears (yes, I did the stupid google thing and spent an entire weekend waiting for our vet appointment sobbing myself to sleep, unable to eat or think!). When the day arrived and those dreaded words came out of our vets mouth, I was, and still am completely heartbroken. It took me about 3 months to be able to summon any words at all to talk about it with those closest to me without bursting into inconsolable tears, and I would never, ever wish that feeling on anybody, not even my worst enemy. 

I’m grateful that, at the time of writing this, I’m able to say Flicker is currently still a joy, and as bright as a button. He is more himself than he’s ever been, and looks great. So despite the terrible news that I've had to process in the last year, I am thanking my lucky stars that even though there isn’t anything I can do for him that will rid him of this horrid disease, I am aware of it, I can manage it under vets advice and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to make the most of the time we have together, however long that ends up being. Currently he’s still in full ridden work, and we are having the most fun we’ve ever had just being together - that is what it’s about after all.

But getting back to the topic of this blog post, I realised more than ever just how special an experience like a photoshoot could be for somebody later down the line. On a personal note, going through this whole experience was something that drove me to push myself even harder to make this passion my business, it gave me something to look forward to and a reason to push myself to be better. I don’t ever want another besotted horse owner to ever lose their horse (expectedly or unexpectedly), or to part ways (whether that’s due to a sale, returning loan...) with their horse, and feel as though during their time together, they didn’t fulfil or experience enough happy times with their beloved animals, or feel as though they don’t ‘have anything to show for it’.

If you are a person who treasures photographs and memories, I want to be the photographer to be able to produce that irreplaceable keepsake for you because there will always be a piece of what I experienced with Flicker that will forever come with me to each shoot. That is my absolute promise.

This is why I do what I do, and I'm glad I know that now.